#cute wriggly lads

[necroticvessel]

Worm friends

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

I DID IT!!!! I FINALLY FECKING DID IT!!!!! I REWATCHED THE ENTIRE LOTR TRILOGY!!! and do i EVER have some tHOUHGTS hdosidhsaodi below the cut ✨✨✨

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

was it as good as i remembered??

short answer: yes!!!!!! long answer: oh my gfucijing go d soj shjues us god mother of shitw yEes yes yseeeessss 😭😭😭 (baby birb had better taste than present birb but don't tell anyone i said so 👀)

there are loads of things i missed before, as well as things i didn't understand, but i understand them now :'D it always gave me that wriggly weird feeling in my chest even as a kid, just like 'lilo & stitch' or the song 'reflection' from mulan, but i didn't know WHY. turns out, these things touched my heart and it scared me, bc emotions have always scared me. but ive learnt to appreciate them as well. not all tears are an evil. i know what gandalf meant now :'D

does it hold up????

in my opinion, it does!!!! some of the cgi may look a bit wonky to modern eyes, but for the most part it's totally fine, if not better looking than some more.....recent films 👀 i've never been a great fan of slow-motion, but it's used mostly effectively here, to enhance the drama as opposed to taking up space (sure the feckers are long enough without it anyway 🤣) the core message of the film is beautiful and timeless. there is hope and goodness and love in our world, and it's worth every ounce of courage in our hearts!! it's as true today as it was when the film was made!! as true as it was when jrr tolkien wrote his stories!! if i believe in anything at all (much as i often profess i don't) it's only that our world is worth fighting for.

are u still after shipping aragorn and legolas??

YEAH. IM BASIC SO WHAT??? i JUST LIKE IT OK. I JUST. LIKE IT ;A;

will u be making more bad jokes now??

OF COURSE I WILL!! do u even KNOW me it's like u don't even KNOW me wtf. there's just a lot this time so. OK HERE GOES 💪😤

i can't believe smeagol was always just. like that lol. baby birb did not realise it was the same character as gollum btw. baby birb was. silly 👀

THE CAIN INSTINCT PREVAILS ONCE MORE!!!

'wake up, sleepies' is how i greet my cats in the morning btw

lol merry and pippin look high as FECK. baby birb didn't understand that lmao, i thought they were just tired 🤣

well, at least the gang are back together!! (mostly ;A;) merry & pippin dancing on tables, eowyn bringing aragorn a drink....good for them :'D

also!! nice pyjamas, lads!!! they all look so cute omg ;A;

THE ORB!!!! that's great, we here on tumblr love orbs, this is-----oh shit is he dead?? *SHOVES MERRY*

omg when aragorn grabs the orb and falls over and then legolas grabbed him 👀👀👀 I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS OK

the third act break up btwn merry and pippin is so sad 😔

aaAAH!! A CHILD!!!!! D: scary!! ;A;

every time elrond says 'there's nothing for u here' i keep hearing 'this is a DECENT town and a LOCAL shop!! there's nothing for U here!!!' lmao 🤣

the king's hall at minas tirith could use a few throw rugs or sth tbh, maybe a couple paintings. bit sparse in there really :P

right i'll just say it: the witch-king's fell beast's head looks like a di--

YAAAS PIPPIN LET'S DO SOME ARSON!! :D

aragorn's arm-flail run is back and it sparks so much joy i love him i love him i love hi

i've counted THREE (3) BLATANT WILHELM SCREAMS across these films!!! one in ttt, and TWO in rotk!!! incredible

i can't believe denethor says 'yeah i wish u died instead of ur brother. rip i guess' 😐 TO HIS FUCKING FACE!!! evil. faramir's gonna remember that FOREVER. u got to be careful what u say to ur kids bc even if they don't bring it up again, they will never ever forget. my dad called me 'useless' once when i was 15 and i still think about it sometimes. DO NOT SAY WEIRD SHIT TO UR KIDS. IM BEGGING U ;A;

despite denethor's A+ parenting, faramir is a nice guy, totally willing to lead his men on a death march to a fight they can't possibly win, throwing away their lives (and their horses) on an impossible task for the futile hope of making his father love him. rip 😔

NICE SINGING PIP!!! reminds me of irish sean-nós singing, traditional music from ireland ;A; (here's an example :D)

ngl watching denethor eat is like watching the Dinner Scene from texas chainsaw 1974 👀

OH LOOK DAD'S HERE!! hi dad!! thanks for not giving us any facial expression as a hint to what dad wanted, theoden, ur so. helpful ._.

'hey so listen ur gf is dying and since she's my daughter that means i have to make sure U don't die so. here.' *SWORDGASM*

actually that sword was baby birb's fav bits. baby birb LOVED swords ;A;

THE WORST BIT. eowyn tries to confess her feelings and aragorn rejecting her is SO PAINFUL AND AWKWARD AAA ;A;

BEEG DRUMMERS IN THE ORC ARMY!!!! and SIEGE MACHINES!!

legolas squinting at the ghost like 'this guy SUS'

aragorn's 'u WILL suffer me 😠'

it never occurred to me when i was a kid, but the gang are doing a bit of fucking. NECROMANCY here aren't they??? like???

wait who tf is iorlas

OH is it that hot blond??? NICE. i like him >:3c

being a wizard is cool bc u can cast spells OR if ur gandalf u can use the staff to wHACK DENETHOR OVER THE HEAD!!!! he's got a shillelagh and i'm glad of it 😌 (baby birb used to listen to da's political music and one of the songs had a line about being 'whacked with a sprig of shillelagh' which i got a kick out of 🤣)

'we should TAKE the broken city pieces and THROW IT AT THE ORCS!!!' :D (read it like the spongebob meme pls)

'GROND! GROND! GROND!' ('grond' refers to the biggest door-knocker EVER)

gollum u need to stop fat-shaming sam, ur being #problematic and they're gonna cancel u 😩

'CRUMBS ON ITS JACKETSES' lol silly that's a CLOAK!!

OH FECK FRODO'S ALLERGIC TO SPIDER BITES!! ;A;

it might actually be easier to carry him in that cocoon

'don't go where i can't follow' FUCKING KILL ME 😭

[women screaming]

i still don't know what an eored is. or WHY i don't know. why

denethor re-enacts 'flashdance' lol (except he intends to burn himself and his son alive)

OH SHIT THE MAD MAX COSPLAYERS ARE HERE

oh no!! uncle's horse!!! (oh and uncle, oh no!)

HERE IT IS. THE LINE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. I AM NO MAN!!! rip uncle tho lol.

can't believe he really pulled the 'u should smile more, ur so pretty when u smile' rubbish before 😒

WOW we should have hired ghosts AGES ago, they can go thru walls and everything!!! O_O

MERRY AND PIPPIN ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! yay~

sam is SUCH a badass, look at him go!! 'AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!!!' adding to his kill count with tears in his eyes :'D

sauron moving his beam around like 'EYE SEE U!! EYE AM LOOKING UPON U!!!'

aw feck frodo's doing the jesus thing where he falls down a few times but has to get back up ;A;

'a day may come when i stop memeing on this line....BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!!!!!'

lol they're bullying gollum, u love to see it 🤣

SAM STOP BEING PERFECT FOR FIVE SECONDS CHALLENGE LEVEL: IMPOSSIBLE

DO IT KING!! TOSS THAT SHIT!!!!

'what are u waiting for?!' 'i've got to give it a chance to defeat me, it's only sportsmanlike, sam!!!'

LEGOLAS'S FACE. WHEN ARAGORN FALLS DOWN. u can see his mouth go like 'ARAGORN' but it's slow-mo and silent ;A; he just starts shoving ppl out his way to get to him hdoasdiasadisj im. gay

AND THEN THE VOLCANO. and pippin sobbing 'FRODO!!!!' ;A;

god all this lava and frodo and sam haven't got any shoes smh

'uhgh i had an awful dream where my finger got chomped off by this freakish little----OH HAI GANDALF!!!!'

his friends are so happy to see him, they are all so happy omg ;A; THE SHIRE THEME STARTS PLAYING WHEN SAM ;A;

tbh sam and frodo could have made out at ANY point and it would have been less gay than. whatever tf had been going on btwn them the entire trilogy 👀

aragorn singing all elfy adn handsome an di love him i love him i lo

legolas all done up as well, they do a mutual shoulder clasp and he's all demure they look like a fecking WEDDING ok they are getting married ;A;

lol arwen looking out from behind the banner like 'PEEK A BOO!!' always sends me 🤣

(another thing that always sends me: legolas and gimli keeping track of their kill count lmao 🤣)

AND THEN ARAGORN DOES A BIG SMOOCH ON HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE??? INCLUDING HER DAD????? 😳

'my friends, u bow to no one' SIR UR FRIENDS ARE TERRIFIED (except pippin, he's ok with attention 😌)

THE LADS GO HOME!! SAM GETS THE GIRL!!! THERE'S A WEDDING!!! then the sad bit ._.

side note: galadriel is low-key terrifying and i love her for it. she is such a FREAK, idek how to explain it or why i think so but i just. do 👀 she talks and there's a reverb on her voice, she smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes!!!!! SCARY 👀

'not all tears are an evil' fuck u gandalf stop stabbing me in the heart over and over, ur bullying me ;A;

WOW NICE JOB NOT PREPARING UR FRIENDS FOR UR DEPARTURE AT ALL FRODO!!!! jfc u could have at least TOLD THEM, this is FAR more traumatic and shocking!!! >:V

awww he and gandalf hold hands tho omg 🥺

THEY'RE ALL CRYING AND IM CRYING AND IM UPSET AND BABY BIRB LEFT THE ROOM ALREADY ;A;

and then they SAILED OFF INTO THE SUNSET!! for some reason. (oh right!! great war allegory 😔)

TINY BABBY HOBBITS!!!

THE END!!

[songstresstinyteacup]

Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves!

The BEAUTIFUL and lovely @songbirds-poet and @joyfulsongbird have organized a Valentine’s Day exchange for those of us in the Hadestown fandom, but I’d like to take a chance to send a little extra love to @bleuaceofsparrows @ratcarney @racheltuckerrr @dilforpheus and so many others that escape my brain at this moment in time!

Here’s my contribution, a cute little Seph/Hades Valentine’s Day fic with a sprinkle of Orphydice thrown in!

~

The bell chimed as Hades stepped into his wife’s flower shop, barely dodging a man who went at a sprint towards the door while shouting his thanks toward Persephone.

Hades grinned on sight of his wife, long ringlets of curls cascading over her back and shoulders and she leaned against the counter, hands fluffing a delicate red carnation as she slid it into place.

The way the sun beamed in from the window behind her, it cast a soft light that seemed to make Persephone’s silhouette glow in a liquid gold, eyelashes glinting little specks as she hummed to herself and smiled.

“I’ve married an angel.” Hades whispered to himself, casting a softer smile when Persephone turned and grinned at him in return.

“Hardly. She snorted, but beamed anyway under the steady stream of praise that seemed to flow from Hades’ lips as he approached and captured one hand in his own.

He gave it a gentle squeeze, and then brought her hand up so that he could kiss her knuckles.

“Are you ready to head home, my love?” Hades murmured, lowering her hand but not relinquishing it.

Persephone smiled again, not once dropping her connection to Hades as she walked around the counter and wrapped herself in his arms.

“I’m just waiting on one more customer to pick up an arrangement, then we can go and I’m all yours.” She practically purred, relishing in the feeling of the sweetheart wrap that Hades often held her in.

At that moment, the door bell chimed again, making Hades and Persephone jump slightly and quickly untangle.

A look toward the door revealed Orpheus, shaking the snow out of his hair and grinning wildly.

“Orpheus! How many times do I have to lecture you about the importance of wearing a hat?” Persephone tutted, going over to the young man and placing her hands on his ears to try and warm them a little.

“But you never wear one!” Orpheus nearly shouted, covered ears responsible for not knowing his own volume.

Persephone gave Orpheus a look, then turned her face to Hades and stuck out her bottom lip, batting her eyelashes at him.

Persephone’s patented pout, capable of making Hades move mountains, though sometimes she used it when she wanted backing up.

“Persephone is not prone to ear infections, which are only made worse when exposed to the cold. C’mon now, boy. You’ll be miserable if you don’t wear a hat!” Hades jumped to Persephone’s side, watching Orpheus sigh, but pull a cap out of his messenger bag.

“Good lad.” Hades clapped Orpheus on the shoulder, smiling as Persephone pressed a kiss to his cheek in way of thanks.

Orpheus began to fidget again, looking from Hades back to Persephone.

“Is it ready, Aunt Persephone? The flowers, I mean. I want everything to be perfect, Eurydice’s never had a real Valentine’s Day before and I want to give her the whole experience!” He rambled, grinning wildly as he thought about his perfect first Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend.

“Have I ever let you down before? What do you think, Orpheus?” Persephone teased, going to the counter and picking up the vase of flowers before bringing it back over.

Orpheus’ jaw dropped open, mouth agape as he looked on at the vibrant red carnations, stuck in amongst baby’s breath and soft faux ostrich plumes.

“It’s beautiful!” He breathed, taking the vase from Persephone’s hands and holding it like it was the most important and expensive item he owned.

Hades watched Persephone’s face blossom into a smile, vibrant and dazzling as Orpheus thanked her profusely and rushed out of the shop and into the streets.

“Are you ready, lover?” Persephone inquired, flicking out the lights and grabbing her faux fur coat from the rack by the door.

“Allow me.” Hades murmured, taking the coat from her lithe and nimble fingers and turning it in order to help Persephone slide into it.

After locking up the shop and making the journey home, Persephone was surprised to see a candlelit feast with all of their favorite foods, and a cake that was an exact replica of the top tier of their wedding cake.

As the two lovers filled their stomachs and drank copious amounts of wine, Persephone smiled at a knock on the door, a most opportune knock that had stopped Hades from trying to find the zipper of her dress.

He grumbled as she got off of his lap and sauntered into the living room, hips swaying in a manner Hades could only describe as tempting, but all grumbles were forgotten when Persephone returned moments later with something in her arms.

His mouth fell open, watching as Persephone plopped a wriggly little puppy down into his arms, a small thing the color of the darkest night sky that gave him many kisses in exchange for pets.

“You didn’t.” He laughed, all frustration with his wife’s exit gone at once, taking one of her hands in his own.

“I absolutely did. This is Cerberus, lover. I picked him out special, and he’s gonna be giant.” Persephone giggled between cooing at the puppy.

The rest of the night was spent playing with Cerberus and dancing around as little paws tried to pounce on them, and ended with Hades and Persephone curled into each other on the bed.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my darling.” Hades whispered, pressing a kiss into her hair as she snuggled closer to him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”

[honeylikewords]

Assuming hickies and other such marks are a relatively common thing for Eddie to wind up with, does this mean he’s got some kind of makeup on standby to hide them? Like, his students notice somethings off about his neck, his tattoo looks...wrong. But then they notice some flesh-toned stuff on his shirt collar and some piece together that that weirdo is wearing makeup. But why?!... And then they see the hint of reddish purple right there.

This totally isn’t Regrettablewritings btw. 😀

own your sins before god, you coward, @regrettablewritings. know what you have done and see the kingdom you scourge, watch the fires you have set burn–

anYWAY HERE’S THE POST YOU WANTED!

I can’t find any gifs of it or a video or anything, but you guys all remember that scene from Parks and Rec where Leslie goes snooping around at Chris’ apartment and confronts him to ask if he’s cheating and produces a tube of concealer and asks “What’s all that about?” and Chris replies “I’m a human. I get blemishes sometimes”? Same Energy.

Eddie married a woman with a proclivity for biting him, and don’t get him wrong, he loves it. It’s kinda His Thing. He really, really enjoys it and encourages her to give him a good gnaw every now and then. But it does have its consequences: dozens of little pinky-red-purple consequences all over his throat and neck and shoulders and chest.

He realized that after a few “incidents” of people seeing his neck littered with lovebites that he was gonna have to either shut down the kissing or find alternative ways to cover them up. And he was not gonna give up the kisses. Ever. 

So he tried a lot of different things; turtlenecks didn’t work out because they felt too constrictive and made him look too stocky, scarves looked to pompous, Shakespearian starch collars got him publicly ridiculed, so he turned to the solution he’d been ignoring all along: makeup.

Admittedly, Eddie’s familiar with stage makeup– theatre had been of interest to him in college and he’d been on stage quite often, resulting in him wearing cakeface makeup or smoky eyeliner to make sure his expressions were visible in the audience– but he’d never had to do anything natural, wearable, normal. 

His girlfriend isn’t the same shade as him at all so he couldn’t use hers, but instead had to go out to the store and do swipe-tests, putting little swatches on the column of his neck and craning around to check in the mirrors that he’d gotten something close to the shade. He garnered a few looks in the Sephora he was in, but, hey, he’s a big man with big strong biceps, covered in tattoos. No one was about to give this guy flak unless they wanted to feel their teeth rattle in their skull.

He ended up having to flag down one of the workers and ask them what they would do to cover “certain marks”. They thought he meant his tattoos and started directing him to the very intense coverage foundations, but Eddie corrected them with a shy blush and a wriggly smile. “No, no, you see, my wife is fond of, um, nibbling the neck, as it were–” “Oh, you should’ve just said!”

They told him about color correcting and set him up with a few color correctors and then a regular skintone concealer, and Eddie thanked them before heading home to experiment. His wife came into the bathroom to find him delicately applying greenish-tinged color corrector over his reddened hickies and he flashed her a sheepish smile.

“Whatcha doin’ baby?”

“Just tryin’ something new,” Eddie said, patting the corrector down. “Somebody, not saying who, but somebody couldn’t keep her teeth to herself the other night, and in the interest of professionalism, I’ve had to invest money in beautification products. Cosmetics! Can you believe it?”

“…That’s actually kinda cute.”

Eddie blinked at her.

“Pardon?”

“You’re cute,” she said as she pointed at him, smiling and eyeing him carefully. “Puttin’ on your makeup like a lad about town!”

“I am, indeed, a lad about town,” laughed Eddie. “But this is more corrective than it is a statement. I can’t really go to work looking like a hormonal teenager.”

“You could. You work with enough of them.”

“My job is to be the adult in the room, not the cohort.”

“Oh, come on, you big lug, you’re as hormonal as they are.”

Eddie came over and put his hands on his wife’s hips, grinning to himself and swaying with her slightly as he buried his face in her neck, kissing softly, almost as if preparing to give her a few hickies of his own making. He laughed as she peeled back his collar and checked his work, saying “wow, you almost can’t tell that I bit you like a rabid dog.”

“Hardly rabid, baby. But it is pretty good for a first timer’s attempt, huh?”

“Pretty good. You mind if we wipe it off so I can make a couple new ones for you to cover?”

“Bay-bee,” he whined, playful. “…Yeah, come on, let’s go get bitey.”

The two of them disappeared from the bathroom, off to lands unknown, to play at being hormonal teenagers all over again. The next morning, Eddie sure enough had a few more spots to cover, but he didn’t mind; a labor of love is hardly a labor, after all.

[mercurialtraveller-blog]

111-121 Nathan Rd, Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong

Days 15-17 Fukuoka Our hostel was shit. After the sketchiness with the check-in, we realised that that meant anyone who had the same experience as us couldn't leave reviews as they insisted we cancelled our booking on arrival so they could keep the money that had been taken out of Maddy's account already as a deposit. Upon further investigation we realised loads of the reviews were presumably fake. They were in Japanese reviews and rated the hostel as a 10 in every category. At best it was a 5 overall. The location was meh, the whole place was a bit grimy, and there were strange rules such as only being able to use the men's showers between 3pm and 11pm. This meant no morning showers for me and Ville. In addition there was a lights out policy for the communal areas at 11pm. Great. Mental note made to study reviews more thoroughly in future! We decided that after the intense couple of weeks we had had that we would have a chilled few days in Fukuoka. We headed down to the nearest beach - Momochi Seaside Park. It was right in the middle of the city. Surprisingly the beach wasn't that clean - strange for Japan! None-the-less, the location was stellar. It was fairly quiet as well, which surprised us as it was 29 degrees! We hypothesised that it was man-made and the sand was fake, but still had a great day. Activities included drinking, listening to music, and snacking. I bought a corn dog and was amazed at how the mustard/ketchup container worked - you just had to squeeze it in half and it poured two perfect lines of ketchup and mustard on your dog. Nice. I made friends with some Nepalese lads and played football with them - first time I've been able to since my injury. Knee was *mostly* fine, but couldn't really go full pelt. Still nice to be back out there! The next couple of days were spent in much the same fashion, except at a beach slightly further out of the centre - Ikinomatsubara. On the first day, we first headed to Maizuru Park to check out the castle ruins. It seemed there was some sort of children's sport event in the park. We chilled for a bit before heading up to the ruins. The ruins were ruin-ey and had a great view over the city. From there we moved over to Ohori Park to check out the beautiful lake 📷 . We didn't have beers to drink whilst chilling there so decided to move on to wander round a cute little Japanese garden 📷 nearby. After a short stay, we headed on to the beach. We had to navigate a forest apparently infested with vipers to get through to it, but it was so worth it. The sign warning of vipers was in Japanese, so we translated it with Google Translate's augmented reality - with hilarious results 📷 . It was a bank holiday, but despite this there were only a few Japanese people at the beach. I met some Bristol DnB heads who were doing the same journey as us in Japan, but in reverse. I told them about what we had been up to and gave them some tips. Good deed for the day done. The second day there was just us three. Amazing. Naoko said this was because after summer was over Japanese people no longer would go to the beach, regardless of the weather - they believe that the dead come back into the sea during 'Bon' in mid-August, so it's not good to swim during that period. After that the popularity of the beaches declines and the popularity of the mountains increases. I made a banging pop playlist which we smashed out, including the likes of Nelly, Justin Timberlake and R. Kelly, along with a load of commercial Garage. Awesome. At the beach we frolicked in the water some of the time, but several times each we stood on wriggly creatures underwater - it was scary! We hypothesised as to what they could've been but still are none the wiser. A minor inconvenience though, on what was a couple of perfect days at a perfect, beautiful, secluded beach 📷 . Later on we somehow realised that we had been mishearing the shop keepers in Japan for several days - we assumed they had been saying 'Moshi moshi!' when we walked in and had been replying in kind. Naoko told me that that translates to 'Hey! Can you hear me?'. Apparenlty they actually say the equivalent of 'Welcome to the shop'. They must've thought we were crazy! Facepalm. Japan had been absolutely amazing, and this was a nice relaxed end to two of the best weeks of my life. I'll definitely be back.

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